Marriage and Women (1 Peter 3:1-6)

Just listened to "Trial Part 9: Marriage and Women" by pastor Mark Driscoll.  It's a great sermon for women based on 1 Peter 3:1-6 teaching biblical submission.  http://www.marshillchurch.org/media/trial/marriage-and-women

Ending points from the sermon...
~Five points to what submission does *NOT* mean:
1. A husband is in *ultimate* authority... (Above the husband is the church. If he's sinning call the elders, let's start church discipline.  Also there is the government.  If he is breaking the law, call the police.  A husband is not in ultimate authority, all his authority is derived.  It's derivative authority, it's not innate authority, he's not God.)    
2. A wife does not have independent thoughts.  (Submission does not mean that if you ask a woman a question she looks at her husband and says, "well what do I think?"  She has her own mind.  Your wives are smart, your daughters are smart.  They (daughters) aren't going to grow up and when they get married all of a sudden not have an idea.  They are going to grow up and have their own thoughts.  What we are talking about here is not that a woman believes what her husband believes or doesn't think for herself or isn't educated or doesn't read books and have deep profound insights.  It just means that when decisions are made that she respects the leadership of her husband.)              
3. A wife does not seek to influence their husband (A wife is their husband's helper.  They should seek to influence him in a positive/Godly manner.  "She's a helper..."  "A prudent wife is from the Lord..."  She should be his biggest influence next to God.  She can give counsel, wisdom, help... The bible says that a man needs help.)
4. A wife must obey her husband's command to sin (Because God is in ultimate authority when the husband if he should command his wife to do something that is unbiblical and sinful and/or illegal the wife says "No, I follow God's authority, not yours.  I follow you as long as you're following Jesus.  You stop following Jesus and I still follow Jesus."
5. A wife is less intelligent or competent than her husband.  (There are wives who are smarter than their husbands.  It doesn't mean she is less competent, it means that he is the leader meaning that he takes responsibility for the home.  In the same way, when the president brings in his advisors who are intelligent and competent and they help him to make his decision and he then makes his decision it doesn't mean that once the decision is made they are not intelligent or competent it just means that when he makes the decision he takes responsibility for it, good or bad.)

~Submission *DOES* mean:
1. A husband and wife are equal with complementary roles.  (They both are image bearers of God made male and female in the image and likeness of God with complementary, not competitive, roles.)
2. Wives are to submit like Jesus did in Gethsemane.  (In the Trinity, Jesus submits to God the father, He's sent by God the father, He does what the father tells Him to do, He says what the father tells him to say, and in the garden of Gethsemane Jesus is preparing for His own death to atone for the sins of the world.  Remember the insightful conversation that Jesus had with His father.  Did He have feelings?  Yes.  Did He articulate them?  Yes.  Did He speak freely and frankly?  Yes.  He's passionate, He's emotional, He's relational, He's verbal and what does He ultimately say?  "You're will be done."  Some women think submission is unlike that...you can't feel anything, you can't say anything, you can't ask anything...that's not the way that Jesus does it.)
3. Husbands are to lovingly lead like Jesus does the church.  (Does Jesus berate the church?  Does He rule legalistically over the church?  Is He cruel, mean, harsh, inconsiderate, unloving to the church?  No!  He dies for the church!  He gives all Himself for the well being of the church.  And a husband who understands marriage biblically, he gives himself away for the well being of his wife and children.  That's Ephesians 5 "Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church."  Driscoll always asks wives, "Do you submit to Jesus?  Why?" -- "He's wonderful to me..." is the answer they give.  "Alright, then gentlemen, be like that.  Make it easier for her to follow your lead by being more like Jesus.)
4. A single woman should only marry a man she can follow.  (Ladies if you are single be very very careful who you date and marry.  Don't just date a man that you can put up with.  Marry a man you can trust, you'll follow his leadership, you respect him, he's safe, he's Godly.  The last thing you want is some guy you don't trust, he's not wise, he doesn't do his "homework", he's harsh, he's inconsiderate, he's immature, he's a boy, you're more his mother than you are his mate, real danger.)
5. Christian marriage shows the Trinity and the gospel.  (The Trinity is that there's one God, Father, Son, and Spirit, three persons and that there is "functional subordination within the Trinity."  That the Son submits to the Father, the Father and Son send the Spirit, and even though they are equal and they are one, in a way that the husband and wife are equal and they are one.  There is deference to authority and there is leadership and hierarchy within the Trinity, the same is true within human relationships particularly the church.  The gospel is this, that Jesus Christ takes responsibility for that which is not His fault.  My sin is not Jesus' fault, it's my fault.  Yet Jesus Christ went to the cross, substituted Himself in my place for my sins, and He took responsibility for that which was not His fault.  Headship is that men are like Christ taking responsibility even when they're not at fault.  There are times when a man is partially responsible or fully responsible for some sin or error that is in his family and it is effecting his wife and children, but there are times as well when the women or the children do sin and what should the husband do?  Stand back and say, "That's you're life, this is my life.  That's your mess, you made it, you fix it"  No!  Like Jesus the man takes initiative, the man takes responsibility, the man doesn't stay back, the man enters in and tries to love and redeem and rescue and fix and save and heal.  And he takes responsibility for the well being of his family, particularly his wife.  Because that's the gospel of Jesus Christ.  That's what Jesus does for us.)